Psychotherapy & Emotion Regulation: 03 The Cognitive Skills
- Lindsey Hutchings, BScN
- Oct 18, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 9
Psychotherapy & Emotion Regulation: 03 The Cognitive Skills
Welcome to Part 3 of our five-part series on emotion regulation, a comprehensive beginner’s guide to mastering your emotional well-being. In Part 1, we explored the fundamentals of emotion regulation, and in Part 2, we discussed coping skills as the foundation for emotional resilience. This week, we focus on cognitive skills—the mental strategies that help you navigate life’s emotional waves. Upcoming posts in Part 4 (behavioural skills) and Part 5 (relational skills and common obstacles) will complete the series. Subscribe to our blog to stay updated on future posts and practical tips for emotional intelligence!
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Why Emotions Matter
Emotions are complex, fleeting, and deeply influenced by our environment. They act as signals, informing us whether our needs are being met. As depicted in Pixar’s Inside Out, emotions like joy, fear, anger, sadness, and anxiety each serve unique purposes:
Joy motivates us to embrace life.
Fear keeps us safe.
Anger fights for justice.
Sadness fosters connection.
Anxiety, when unmanaged, can overwhelm us.
Many of us struggle to embrace emotions due to societal or personal discomfort. However, emotions are not obstacles—they’re valuable data. Reframing how we think about emotions is the first step to effective regulation.
What Are Cognitive Skills?
Cognitive skills involve how we process thoughts, combining memory, attention, and perception to interpret our world. Unlike fleeting thoughts, cognitions are structured mental processes that guide our actions.
For example:
You think, “I need a hat,” because you know it’s cold outside (memory), perceive the weather (attention), and want to stay warm (goal).
By adjusting our thoughts, we can influence our emotional experiences, making cognitive skills a powerful tool for emotion regulation.
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How are emotions and cognitions related?
Our thoughts profoundly influence our emotional experiences. While we can’t directly change emotions, we can reshape our thoughts to guide how we feel, a critical aspect of emotional intelligence.
Consider learning to surf—a metaphor for navigating emotions. If you approach it thinking, “This is pointless, I’ll fail and embarrass myself,” you’re likely to feel anxious and disengaged, reducing your success and enjoyment. Now, imagine shifting to, “This is an exciting challenge! It’s tough, but I can learn.” This positive mindset fosters confidence and reduces stress, setting the stage for better emotion regulation.
Think of emotions as waves washing over you. Instead of saying, “I am angry,” try, “Anger is washing over me.” This perspective shift helps you see emotions as temporary, like ocean waves that rise, peak, and recede. Our goal isn’t to stop these waves—we can’t—but to learn to surf them with logic and calm, even in the deepest emotional troughs.
By paying attention to our thoughts before and during situations, we can prevent negative spirals. Careless thoughts, like “I can't do anything right,” can worsen emotional distress. Disciplined thoughts, like “I can handle this step-by-step,” become a powerful resource for mental health.
Practical Tip: When you feel an intense emotion, pause and note your thoughts. Ask, “Is this thought helping or hurting?” Then, reframe it to something constructive.
Are an overwhelmed mom? Read our blog post on self-compassion for moms
5 Key Cognitive Skills for Emotion Regulation
Here are five evidence-based cognitive strategies to manage emotions, with practical tips for daily use:
1. Cognitive Reappraisal
Cognitive reappraisal reframes situations to alter their emotional impact. For example:
Scenario: You’re stuck in traffic and frustrated.
Reappraisal: “This is a chance to enjoy my favorite podcast.”
Practical Tip: When stressed, write down one positive outcome the situation could offer. This reduces anxiety and builds resilience. Read more in this Psychology Today article.
2. Mindfulness
Mindfulness fosters non-judgmental, present-moment awareness. Key practices include:
Focused Attention: Center on your breath or surroundings.
Non-Judgmental Observation: Observe emotions without labeling them.
Body Awareness: Notice physical sensations tied to emotions.
Practical Tip: Try a 5-minute mindfulness exercise: Breathe deeply, notice thoughts, and let them pass. Explore this guided mindfulness resource The Free Mindfulness Project.
3. Self-Talk
Self-talk is your internal dialogue, shaping your emotional and behavioural responses. Types include:
Positive: “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
Instructional: “Focus, breathe, take it one step at a time.”
Reflective: “What can I learn from this experience?”
Practical Tip: Start your day with a positive affirmation, like “I’m ready for today’s challenges.”
4. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT promotes accepting emotions and aligning actions with values. Core processes include:
Acceptance: Acknowledge emotions without resistance.
Cognitive Defusion: See thoughts as passing, not truths.
Values Clarification: Define what matters, like family or growth.
Committed Action: Act on goals despite discomfort.
Practical Tip: Reflect on one core value (e.g., kindness) and take a small action aligned with it today.
5. Cognitive Restructuring
Cognitive restructuring, rooted in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), replaces distorted thoughts (e.g., “I always fail”) with balanced ones (“I can grow from mistakes”). Steps include:
Identify: Spot negative thoughts.
Assess: Are they fact-based?
Challenge: Question their validity.
Reframe: Adopt realistic thoughts.
Practical Tip: Keep a thought journal to track and reframe negative patterns over a week.
Read More:
Why Cognitive Skills Matter
Cognitive emotion regulation empowers you to manage emotions like anxiety, stress, or depression. These skills:
Reduce Reactivity: Stay calm during emotional peaks.
Enhance Mental Health: Lower anxiety and depression symptoms.
Build Resilience: Face challenges with confidence.
These skills improve workplace performance, relationships, and overall emotional well-being. For instance, positive self-talk before a meeting boosts confidence, while mindfulness during conflict prevents escalation.
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Next Steps to Master Your Emotions
Ready to apply these cognitive skills? Start here:
Practice Daily: Spend 5–10 minutes on one technique, like mindfulness or self-talk.
Journal Thoughts: Track how thoughts shape emotions in a notebook or app.
Get Support: Book a free discovery call to tailor these strategies to your needs. Schedule your session here.
Learn to ride those emotional waves with grace and confidence! Subscribe for Part 4 on behavioural skills for emotion regulation, and share this post to help others.
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